Bigfoot encounters at Needwood Forest

The UKs own "Bigfoot Mystery"

 Sunday April 18th 2010

For regular readers of this blog they have come to expect journalism of its very highest standard. They know that the words that are written down here are the "absolute truth" and were not just some weird rantings written on the back of a fag packet. So it is with great honour that we give you a world exclusive...one that I am sure you will see on the BBC or Sky news tonight. This is a real photo of Bigfoots footprint found by team Shiltonpig in Needwood Forest near Needwood (funny that Needwood near Needwood...simple things and all that).

"Go on do it" SHOUTS Mrs Shiltonpig

Some of you are wondering whether Mr Shiltonpig just got a stick and drew a picture of a footprint just to increase reading figures....but he is wounded at the mere suggestion. He is an honest geocacher who would never sensationalise such stories....we leave it to your own judgement on such matters. So Needwood then...this is an ancient forest, so ancient it was around when Mrs Shiltonpig was born....some say that it was lost in the 18th century....team Shiltonpig says...how can you lose something so big???? The Needwood forest is home to another of the "High Noon" statues that we have been hunting down over the last few days. This one is surprise surprise in the shape of a tree....why Mr Shiltonpig is pretending to stick two guns to his head, we do not know.... perhaps if he were to do this it would knock some sense into him, but Mrs Shiltonpig doubts it. We were in this part of the world to knock this cache off and a series based on the Jackson 5. Thankfully it didn't require us to put on 70s clothes and sing in high voices....but just in case we have any fans reading this, this is just for you....(and if this isn't reason enough that you are glad its not the 70s anymore then we think you need something examined).

Shrek wearing a "Josh" mask

team Shiltonpig were on a roll today after bumping into bigfoot, we came across our second fairytale character...this time Shreks son. We found him whinging in the corner watering the flowers and playing with a magic star....some more astute readers amongst you, may notice a similar likeness to Josh...we thought so too....but then dismissed it. Josh is a little monster....but hes no Shrek. The forest of Needwood is home to lots of flora...shamrocks with flowers...gave Mrs Shiltonpig a lump in the throat (probably tried to eat them)...bluebells. Did you know the spanish bluebell is killing off the English bluebell? Why is this issue not on the agenda for the general election we ask?

"wheres my ice cream?"

But of course that darling little cherub of ours called Josh was far more interested in something more important to him...his belly, so he began eating an ice cream, the fact it was plastic seemed of no consequence to him...we tried to tell him it was hard to drive a Mr Whippy van in the middle of a forest, but he just kept saying "no, no, no" so we left him alone. All the land is owned by the Duchy of Lancaster and they very kindly let us keep a couple of caches in the area...how very nice and kind of them. Do you think they will donate to the team Shiltonpig chosen charity? all proceeds go into a box marked "team Shiltonpigs new car fund".

Heave-Ho

Another interesting feature is that work horses are being reintroduced into Needwood forest to help with the logging...though why they were felling trees on a Sunday afternoon is beyond us...plus team Shiltonpig have their own workhorse in the form of the hard worker (and strongest member)....Mrs Shiltonpig. She would clear the logs in no time, she would show them horses a thing or two!! (Horse walks into a bar, the barman says "why the long face"?). And after finding the bonus cache in the area we moved on to a couple outside the woods....now we have heard of "tin pot religions" but a tin pot church is what we found in Draycott in the clay.

Not sure whats the oldest thing in the photo?

Apparently in the 1930s you could order churches via a catalogue...so you could modify the church design in whatever way you pleased. Its survived 1 world war, 1970s music and even the y2k millenium bug....whats pleasing is that the church spire acts as a satellite and picks up Sky Sports. We jest of course but its a testament to the fact it has survived 8 decades. So 8 caches in and we needed a break so we went to the worlds greatest pub that we have plugged on this blog before....the Cherry Tree near Willington. If you haven't been, why not...and its no excuse that you live in Wiltshire! The last caches of the day were a different type of satisfying.

Archive photo from as far back as March 2010

We have previously not been able to find 2 caches in the Willington area and tonight we were able to find them...sometimes when you are not trying too hard things fall into place. So after spotting Bigfoot and Shrek and stuffing down a carvery into our contented bellies we braced ourselves for that time of day that we dread the most....Joshs bath time and cleaning his dirty nappies...and on that note we wish all our readers pleasant dreams...and remember don't let the bed bugs bite!